First Dates: How to Survive Them
The time has come. Your sporadic late-night post-love-island tinder swiping sprees followed by a couple of tolerable chats here and there have culminated in a guy managing to keep your attention long enough to secure the pleasure, no, the honour of the first date with you (Lucky guy!).
Now to decide what to do. Because none of us should be dedicating more time and energy than is necessary to decide where to go and what to do; we’ve made it easy for you.
The Coffee Date
From the TV series 'Gilmore Girls'
The coffee date is best for a busy day to day schedule and is the safest bet for a first date. This date includes a lot of conversation. If you are not the most talkative person this date is not for you. The date is during the day which makes it more casual and coffee shop vibes are very chill so hopefully, it will put you at ease when meeting your date. It can also be as short or as long as you want. If you are not too sure of your date, we have all been there, coffee shops are very public, and you can always pretend you’re on your lunch break to cut it short.
The Dinner Date
From the movie 'Lady and the Tramp'
The Dinner date although the oldest and most traditional is probably the worst choice for a first date. They are really intense and awkward. The idea of someone watching you eat while talking with their mouth full is a huge turn off, and there’s always the risk of garlicky breath! For this, we offer the alternative of drinks which is a crowd favourite. Going for a drink in a trendy bar creates a relaxing environment for socialising.
The Activity Date
From the TV series, 'Friends'
The activity date is where you both decide to do an activity like bowling or mini-golf. The activity date although less intense than the dinner date is riskier because the point is to have fun. If the date is not fun, unlike the coffee date there is no escape. The choice of activity is also important because you want to be creative but not too creative because no one is trying to be rock climbing, hiking or any strenuous activities that do not match your fitness capabilities, true story.
General advice for dating and dates
Dating should be fun and while not every date is going to end with the potential for marriage, it is a good experience and the more dates you endure, the more comfortable you’ll be. It’s easy to go overboard and stalk your date beforehand, finding out all sorts of information on them (ex-girlfriends, their second cousin’s dog’s name, where their auntie went on holiday; that sort of thing) but you should limit your stalking and go on your date with a clear, untainted view of them, finding out for yourself rather than basing them purely on their online self. Go in with an open mind! A big no-no on a first date is talking extensively about your exes, and definitely don’t compare your date to them. Asking about why their last relationship didn’t work out, or how long they’ve been single is fine, but don’t pester them with finding out their ex’s full name, Instagram handle etc just so you can stalk them afterwards and compare yourself to them.
When dating, honesty is key. Don’t make up lies about your job or whether you still live with your parents. You never want to start something, that has potential, with lies that will eventually unravel. Don’t try and be someone you’re not, it’s a lot harder to keep up with, so be yourself and if they don’t like it, they’re clearly not worth your time anyway. Most importantly, have fun. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date. Bad dates make for great stories, so, embrace them. However, if you’re new to dating and the idea of it frightens you, it can be helpful to tell a friend who you’re going to meet and where so that in case anything happens and you need help, they’ll know where you are. Also, check in with them every hour or so while on the date to let them know you’re okay. This is why making sure your date is in a public place is important, so that there is always someone to help you get out of a sticky situation!
Words by Camila Karalyte
Graphics by Séverine Denis-Lessard