Updated: Aug 21, 2019
Let’s face it, it’s getting more and more difficult to meet the person of your dreams in real life when every day, it’s work, work, work and repeat. You barely get time to eat and sleep, let alone date!
Dating apps like Tinder have really changed the dating game, with doctors, lawyers and fashionistas only a swipe away.
We caught up with Emily Hartridge, presenter and internet sensation based in London, to give some relationship advice on finding ‘the one’ on this the most romantic of days.
Voir: What advice do you have for an online dating newbie?
Emily: I would say don’t lie, it’s a bit like social media isn’t it? It’s a platform to showcase you, what you look like, what you do, what you like doing in your spare time. But there’s always those who put the most amazing pictures on there and tell these amazing things about themselves and if it’s not true, you’re already setting yourself up for a fall. Like when someone says they’re 6ft1 when really they’re not, they’re like 5ft10. Just make sure you represent who you actually are and if they don’t like you then they can piss off, you know.
V: Do men actually read an online profile or are they just looking at the photos?
E: If you’re the kind of guy that’s actually looking for a relationship, you’re gonna read what someone’s written on their profile. I’m sure they would read a small bio and photos if they’re actually looking for a relationship. And if they’re not looking for a relationship, then obviously it’s gonna be all physical, so do you want to be with someone like that anyway?
V: How do we distinguish between a profile which is real and fake? What are signs we’ve stumbled on a fake online dating profile?
E: I’ve definitely come across a few phonies on dating apps. Most of the time they come in the form of only putting modelling shots on their profile, which are obviously a google images of “hot male model”. Then what happens most of the time is I would be like “Ah, sort of swipe right” and then we’ll match and then there basically isn’t really a conversation because they either go straight in and say “Do you wanna have sex?” or they just don’t reply. If he just puts a lot of model photos on there that’s a bit of a sign that they’re probably not real.
V: What messaging tips do you have to avoid a boring conversation on a dating app?
E: Messaging is the most important part of the whole thing because I hate small talk. Like “hey how are you? How’s your day going?” I HATE that kind of chat. I’d much rather start with something interesting or a question, like what their death row meal would be. I know mine and I think it’s actually interesting when people answer that question. Honestly if a guy messaged me saying “hey how’s your day going?” I would be like “No, no.” So just mix it up.
V: What are your first date tips for women?
E: On the first date I would go for a coffee maybe in the day or just a drink, then sometimes that can lead to dinner. Don’t allocate yourself loads of hours because you might not like them. I’ve done that before, gone to dinner and it was just a terrible mistake because I hated it from the moment I walked in to the bar.
V: What do you think of singles playing “the game” if they’re looking for a serious relationship?
E: I’m pretty open and honest, I don’t think I know how to play a game. But when it comes to messaging and replying, you naturally want to reply really quickly but most people don’t really have that mentality. They would probably wait it out for a bit, so sometimes they wait a few hours to reply. It depends on age too, If getting close to 30 most people are done with games. You’re at the point where you probably want to meet someone and think about children or what you want to do with your life with them. There are definitely less games played over 30 because I don’t have time. Just be honest and be open what your looking for and if they’re not it then that’s fine.
V: What questions should we ask our online match before we meet them in real life?
E: I think pre-chats are a bit dangerous on dating apps because it can lead to a lot of disappointment which lasts a long time. It’s happened to so many of my friends that chats with guys for weeks and you almost feel like you have a boyfriend and then you meet them and then you’re like “Oh I don’t fancy you” and you wasted all those weeks. So I wouldn’t say there’s any necessary specific questions you need to ask. It’s good to have a little bit of chat, you know, “what do you do? Where do you live? What kind of stuff do you like to do?” But most of the time I’ve had a lot of friends that are just like “Hey how’s it going bla bla bla” and then “shall we just go for a drink?” You can ask them all the questions you want when you see them.
About Emily Hartridge
Emily gives relationship advice through her YouTube channel. Beginning her career with her worldwide hit YouTube series “10 Reasons Why”, she has garnered over 3 million views a month. She has interviewed some of the world’s biggest film stars including Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried, Eddie Redmayne and Russell Brand.
Image research: Bethany Field, Photomontages: Luke Walwyn
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